First myth. Only some people (namely you) are uncomfortable meeting strangers. The fact is EVERYONE is uncomfortable meeting strangers. We can probably blame our parents for this one too. (Always a convenient trick). We have been taught from the cradle to "not talk to strangers" for a very good safety reason. But it HAS carried into our adult lives and it really doesn't matter what the occasion, the vast majority of us really have a difficult time walking up and meeting someone we don't know.
This happens certainly in social occasions. Have you ever been to a party where there are several groups of people? You know, work friends, neighborhood friends and maybe sports club friends. And pretty much during the course of the party they remain in 3 distinct groups, each eyeing the other seeing if there is someone interesting, gathering the courage to "cross the line". Really kind of silly, isn't it?
Similar things happen at business networking events. You see the newbie's (that don't know anyone) standing up against the wall, drink in hand, looking like a deer in the headlights. You see the "old hands" together, but seemingly in their own little clique's chatting away with people they obviously know. And there are a few brave souls circulating around the room.
So how do you meet new people?
The solution. Just do it. Honestly, it really is the trick.
Try an experiment. Go up to someone that you don't know (you can do this anywhere) and greet them. Do they bite your head off, snarl, run to the bathroom and wash their hands, give you a disgusted look? NO! Of course they don't. In fact, especially if they were standing around and not interacting with someone, they're probably grateful that someone approached them.
Next step is to do that whole networking thing. Get to know them, ask them questions about themselves and so on. Good chances you'll meet an interesting person. Think about it. You wouldn't have met them if you didn't just bite the bullet and go up to them. So now you did, hopefully you had a good conversation, met an interesting person, maybe have something in common. Now what? Repeat.
Meeting new people should be enjoyable, not some scary hurdle to overcome. Part of the nervousness is that you are putting yourself out there, that you are representing yourself, your company and your product. That you need to see if they are a prospect for your services. Well, stop that! Really, cut it out.
The fact of the matter is networking isn't about selling; it's about creating and building relationships. So take a deep breath and understand that the first time you meet someone, you shouldn't be "selling" or "prospecting", you should just be getting to know them, build a rapport and find out what they do and so on. And the biggest, coolest trick in the book is...
Ask.
Ask them what they do. Ask them where they live. Ask them how they like their job. Ask them what interests them. Ask them to clarify something when you don't understand. Ask.
People love to talk about themselves especially if you show an interest. So, ask away! You're not on the hook. You're not on the spot to "produce answers", you get the chance to know someone and the conversation will flow pretty naturally.
And there will be a conversation. At some point they will ask about you, so yes, you still have to have an elevator speech about yourself and what you do. And who knows, as mentioned before, you may find a common interest, even a reason to do business together. But the primary focus is to introduce yourself and get to know them.
Whew! Sound a bit easier now?
I happen to be a strong extrovert; I'm a really outgoing guy. But even I had a tough time learning this and I even sometimes have trouble today going to an event and just getting started. But I happen to be a business coach, and I help people. When I see the person standing alone, its something that I CAN help in a small way. So I go over, introduce myself and ask what they do. And off the conversation goes. I have met a lot of great people that way. Many times, I've been able to take the newbie and introduce them to someone else, someone with a common interest. That's networking and that's life. In retrospect, one of the great things about my work is meeting a wide range of people with a wide range of careers and experiences. It encourages me to know more. And what a great place to be.
So go ahead, say hi. Introduce yourself and ASK. It can be fun and a great use of your time. And who knows, the next person you meet could end up being a colleague, a gateway to your next job, a client, a drinking buddy, a friend. And it starts with you walking up to them.
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Terry Bass, of CHADONS Resources is a business coach in the ChicagoLand area. He speaks, coaches and facilitates focusing on helping people succeed.
Terry has just recently published an E-Book titled "Networking 101..and Then Some" a guide on how to be a more effective networker.
If you can use help for yourself or your organization in creating better results, then you should contact Terry at 773-769-1992 and begin the conversation. You can also visit http://www.chadons.com to learn more about Chadons' services or about the E-Book "Networking 101".
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